LOOKING AT FAILURE AS THE OPPORTUNITY IT TRULY IS
Question❓ What would you do if you couldn’t / wouldn’t fail?
We’ve all heard this a million times and while I understand the concept, I’ve always felt it’s truly missing the point. Here’s the thing, I believe in failure. I believe in falling down and working hard to get back up. I believe in getting so scared about something your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest. This. Is. Living! More importantly, this is growth.
So, why is the word “fail” such a bad thing? I believe it’s because of the context our society has put on it. The word failure is associated with negative things; lack of success, losing, broken, wasted time, giving up—I think you get the picture. Yet, failure is as simple as the First Attempt In Learning. If we didn’t try new things, we wouldn’t be here as a species. If we didn’t try new things, all of us would be laying on our backs just as we did when we were first born. If we didn’t try new things, we would never move in a forward direction. If we didn’t try new things, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this blog post for you. We all try new things and I am here to shout that we need to fail! Actually, need it.
But let’s flip the script because people like to hang on words (you know how powerful they are, right?) and use them as excuses too. So instead of “failure” let’s use a different term to help you train your brain in a positive way.
“OPPORTUNITY: A GOOD POSITION, CHANCE, OR PROSPECT, AS FOR ADVANCEMENT OR SUCCESS.”
If we think of every challenging instance we’re faced with as an opportunity, we are training our brains that we can turn it into something positive. Even when that something is the scariest, craziest, most ridiculous thing you’ve ever faced. 😱 When you begin to see the challenge as a way of growing and learning, you’re training yourself to believe in yourself. You’re training yourself to see the opportunity ahead, regardless of the outcome. Yet, when you focus on the word failure you’re more likely to be afraid of something and it will paralyze you. The negative self-talk will make its way in to that beautiful brain of yours and you will convince yourself that your current beliefs are true. You’re in fear of what could happen versus what you want to happen. Typically, you’re thinking of all the negative things that could go wrong. The “what if’s?” Again, we need to train our brains to believe in our inner strength and courage. We need to mine the motivation within our very selves to take that next step. If we see ourselves succeeding by visualizing, I guarantee your fear will begin to diminish. Why? You’ll be so laser focused on the outcome you want for yourself and stop at nothing to get there. If you begin to tell yourself that you CAN do the thing you’re striving for, you will begin to believe it and things will start happening for you. This doesn’t mean you won’t have slip ups, or the outcomes will be perfect every time. It means you’ll be inching closer to reaching your goals by sheer will of staying with it and getting back up over and over.
The concepts are very simple.
The execution is the hard work.
The consistency is the hard work.
The habit is the hard work.
Yet, when you make the decision about what you really want in life, all the hard work will become something you look forward to. You’ll not only want to figure things out, you’ll be excited to! It’s like starting a new job. You’re pumped about the opportunity and excited for the growth you’ll be experiencing. You get in early. You stay late. You ask questions and do more than your job description. Those are the times when you’re looking towards your bright future and knowing that you must put in all the hard work to get there. Or, what about when you sign up for the race? You’re a bit scared but you know that you have a commitment, so you train. You get up early. You eat better. You do all the things you know you have to do in order to make it across that finish line. Sometimes it sucks and you’re tired. But in your mind, you’re visualizing the finish line and that keeps you going. You are mining that motivation within. And once you’ve achieved that goal, you’re already seeing yourself crossing the next finish line or ready to face the next challenge.
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”
We need to look at this “opportunity” idea as an ongoing part of life. If you look for them, you’ll find them. If you don’t, you’ll revolve (mediocrity) and never grow. You’ll never grow into something that you know deep down you can and WANT to be. Those butterflies in your gut when you’re feeling scared as shit or anxious – that’s your sympathetic autonomic nervous system, aka “Fight or Flight,” talking to you. You’ve got blood pulsing through your body in places to help you move faster and a jolt of adrenaline pumping to help you do the scary things. When you work through these uncomfortable feelings to get to that place you’ve been working so hard to get to, all those feelings of being scared subside and then your body and mind will be in that flow state.
Flow, defined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, is "being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you're using your skills to the utmost."
You’ll focus on the challenge in front of you and do the hard things. And guess what? Once you’ve trained your brain to get into that flow state, it will be easier every time you set out to accomplish the next challenge. Listen to your body and embrace these feelings. These are your queues telling you to get after it. That’s your physiological response to the good stuff. Stay there. Feel it. Embrace it. Now, write that shit down.
Write. That. Shit. Down.
You know I’m a huge fan of writing (I mean, you’re here reading my writing, right?). But honestly, you must get those goals, dreams, excitement and all the feels down on paper. I believe pen to paper is the best way because it sparks a different area of the brain. There’s research showing a distinct neural pathway, which is only activated when we’re using our pens or pencils to paper. It’s this pathway that’s linked to our overall success in learning and memory. Regardless of how you get the information out of your brain and into writing, please do it. Motivate yourself to do it because you’ll be able to look back at it and keep yourself accountable. It’s also the best reminder and gift to yourself when you can see those dreams and goals in black and white. You’re consistently reminding yourself of your wants and in turn you’ll consistently be looking for the opportunities to get you there. Seek and you shall find, my friend!!! Your opportunity is waiting for you.
//Krissi
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